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我是一位學者症候群患者,或更確切地說,是一位高功能自閉症學者症候群患者。這是個罕見的情況,更罕見的是,以我的情況來說,還擁有自我認知和語言天分。很多時候,當我遇到某個知曉我情況的人,就會產生某些尷尬情況,我可以從他們眼中看出,他們想問我一些事,很多時候,到了最後,當他們無法壓下迫切的渴望時,就會脫口而出,「如果給你我的出生日期,你能告訴我我是星期幾出生的嗎?」(笑聲)或者,他們問我某數的立方根,或要求我背誦長串數字或長篇文字。如果我今天沒為你們表演一場自閉症單人秀的話,希望你們能諒解。我要談的是某些比出生日期或立方根更有趣的事,更深刻些、比工作更接近我內心的事。
我想簡單地跟你們談談關於認知的心理歷程。當契訶夫寫出使他成名的戲劇和短篇小說時,他保存了一本筆記本,其中記錄了他對周遭世界的觀察,包含許多其他人忽略的小細節。每當我閱讀契訶夫的作品,以及他和對人類生活的獨特眼光時,就會想起為什麼我也會成為一位作家。在我的書中,我探索認知的本質,以及不同類型的感知如何創造不同類型的認知和理解。
這裡有三個從我工作中衍生出的問題,並非試著去瞭解它們,我要請你們思考一下關於直覺的事。當你觀察事物的時候腦中和心中所浮現的直覺,例如這個計算,你能感覺到解答大約會落在數線的什麼地方嗎?或觀察這個外國文字和發音(冰島語‘hnugginn’是指?)你能感受到它的含義指向哪個方面嗎?以這行詩句來說,為什麼詩人用野兔(hare)這個字(野兔蹣跚、顫抖地走過結冰的草叢),而不是兔子(rabbit)?我要求你們這麼做,因為我相信,我們個人的感知,你們知道,就是我們內心如何獲得知識的方法,我們藉由審美能力,而不是抽象的推理、引導和塑造過程來得知我們所知道的一切,我是這個現象的一個極端例子。
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以下為系統擷取之英文原文
I'm a savant, or more precisely, a high-functioning autistic savant. It's a rare condition. And rarer still when accompanied, as in my case, by self-awareness and a mastery of language. Very often when I meet someone and they learn this about me there's a certain kind of awkwardness. I can see it in their eyes. They want to ask me something. And in the end, quite often, the urge is stronger than they are and they blurt it out: "If I give you my date of birth, can you tell me what day of the week I was born on?" (Laughter) Or they mention cube roots or ask me to recite a long number or long text. I hope you'll forgive me if I don't perform a kind of one-man savant show for you today. I'm going to talk instead about something far more interesting than dates of birth or cube roots -- a little deeper and a lot closer, to my mind, than work.
I want to talk to you briefly about perception. When he was writing the plays and the short stories that would make his name, Anton Chekhov kept a notebook in which he noted down his observations of the world around him -- little details that other people seem to miss. Every time I read Chekhov and his unique vision of human life, I'm reminded of why I too became a writer. In my books, I explore the nature of perception and how different kinds of perceiving create different kinds of knowing and understanding.
Here are three questions drawn from my work. Rather than try to figure them out, I'm going to ask you to consider for a moment the intuitions and the gut instincts that are going through your head and your heart as you look at them. For example, the calculation. Can you feel where on the number line the solution is likely to fall? Or look at the foreign word and the sounds. Can you get a sense of the range of meanings that it's pointing you towards? And in terms of the line of poetry, why does the poet use the word hare rather than rabbit? I'm asking you to do this because I believe our personal perceptions, you see, are at the heart of how we acquire knowledge. Aesthetic judgments, rather than abstract reasoning, guide and shape the process by which we all come to know what we know. I'm an extreme example of this.
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我內心世界中的文字和數字,是由顏色、情感和個性混合而成,正如Juan(心理學家Juan Lupianez Castillo)所說,這就是科學家們稱之為通感的情形,一種不尋常的感官之間互相聯繫的情形。這是數字1至12,在我眼中,每一個數字都有自己的形狀和特徵:1是一道白色閃光,6是一個非常悲傷的小黑洞。這張草圖是黑白的,但在我心中它們是有顏色的,3是綠色,4是藍色,5是黃色。
我也會作畫,這是我其中一件作品,這張圖代表兩個質數相乘,三維形狀,它們之間形成的空間創造出一個新形狀,就是其總和的解答。若是更大的數字呢?不會有比π這個數學常數更長的數字,這個數字是無限的,可說永遠沒有終點。在這張畫中,我畫的是π的小數部份前20位,我將顏色、情感和紋理全都混合在一起,形成一種旋轉的數字景觀。
但我不只是在數字上看到顏色,對我來說文字也一樣有色彩、情感和紋理。這是小說《蘿莉塔》的開場白(蘿莉塔,我的生命之光-納博科夫),納博科夫本身有通感能力,你們可以在這張圖上看到,我對L這個發音的感知,如何使這個句子中的頭韻突顯出來。另一個例子:多談一點數學。不知道你們當中是否有人注意到(這是我的中西部-不是小麥或草原或失落的瑞典城鎮-費茲傑羅),這個出自《大亨小傳》中的句子的結構,這些音節是有順序的:一、小麥;二、草原;三、失落的瑞典城鎮;一、二、三,在我心中,這是個非常令人愉快的效果,幫助我正確感受這個句子的語意。
讓我們回到我之前提出的問題,64乘以75,如果你們當中有人下西洋棋,就會知道64是一個平方數,這就是為什麼棋盤是八乘八的方形,有64個方格,所以這給了我們一個可以想像、可以感知的形式。那75這個數字呢?好,如果100,如果我們將100想成是一個方形,75看起來會像這樣,所以,我們現在需要做的就是,將這兩張圖形一起放在腦海中,變成像這樣,把64變成6400,而右邊的角落,你不需計算任何東西,橫跨了四格,上下也是四格,總共是16格,你真正需要計算的是16、16、16的總和,我敢肯定這比學校教你計算數學的方法容易多了,總和是16加16加16,等於48,答案的總和是4800,當你知道怎麼做就會覺得很簡單。
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My worlds of words and numbers blur with color, emotion and personality. As Juan said, it's the condition that scientists call synesthesia, an unusual cross-talk between the senses. Here are the numbers one to 12 as I see them -- every number with its own shape and character. One is a flash of white light. Six is a tiny and very sad black hole. The sketches are in black and white here, but in my mind they have colors. Three is green. Four is blue. Five is yellow.
I paint as well. And here is one of my paintings. It's a multiplication of two prime numbers. Three-dimensional shapes and the space they create in the middle creates a new shape, the answer to the sum. What about bigger numbers? Well you can't get much bigger than Pi, the mathematical constant. It's an infinite number -- literally goes on forever. In this painting that I made of the first 20 decimals of Pi, I take the colors and the emotions and the textures and I pull them all together into a kind of rolling numerical landscape.
But it's not only numbers that I see in colors. Words too, for me, have colors and emotions and textures. And this is an opening phrase from the novel "Lolita." And Nabokov was himself synesthetic. And you can see here how my perception of the sound L helps the alliteration to jump right out. Another example: a little bit more mathematical. And I wonder if some of you will notice the construction of the sentence from "The Great Gatsby." There is a procession of syllables -- wheat, one; prairies, two; lost Swede towns, three -- one, two, three. And this effect is very pleasant on the mind, and it helps the sentence to feel right.
Let's go back to the questions I posed you a moment ago. 64 multiplied by 75. If some of you play chess, you'll know that 64 is a square number, and that's why chessboards, eight by eight, have 64 squares. So that gives us a form that we can picture, that we can perceive. What about 75? Well if 100, if we think of 100 as being like a square, 75 would look like this. So what we need to do now is put those two pictures together in our mind -- something like this. 64 becomes 6,400. And in the right-hand corner, you don't have to calculate anything. Four across, four up and down -- it's 16. So what the sum is actually asking you to do is 16, 16, 16. That's a lot easier than the school taught you to do math, I'm sure. It's 16, 16, 16, 48, 4,800 -- 4,000, the answer to the sum. Easy when you know how.
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第二個問題是一個冰島字,我假設在場會講冰島語的人不多,因此,讓我將選擇範圍縮小到兩個選項;Hnugginn:這是一個表示快樂的字,或是悲傷的字?你們認為呢?(悲傷 ∕ 快樂)好,有人說這個字代表快樂,大多數人,大部份人說這個字代表悲傷,它事實上代表悲傷。(笑聲)為什麼以統計來說,在這個情況下,大多數人會比在其他情況下,更傾向於說一個字代表悲傷?以我的理論來說,語言演變的方式,是與聆聽者對所聽到發音的主觀想法,以及個人的直觀經驗相匹配的。
我們來看第三個問題,這是濟慈所寫的一首詩,當中的詩句、文字,就像數字一樣,表達構成我們世界的物體、事件和力量之間的基本關係。按理說,生存在這個世界上的我們,應該在生活過程中直觀地吸收這些關係,詩人,就像其他藝術家一樣,發揮了這些直觀的認知。以hare這個字來說,它在英語發音中是一個容易混淆的字眼,也可以代表從頭上長出的纖維(hair),如果我們思考這一點,讓我放上圖片,纖維呈現出的是脆弱性,它們會受到最輕微的移動、動作或情緒左右,因此,你能感受到一種混和了脆弱與緊張的氛圍。野兔本身,這種動物不是貓,不是狗,是一隻野兔,為什麼要用野兔這個字?因為-思考一下這張圖片,不是文字,是圖片,它超長的耳朵,超大的腳,幫助我們描繪並直觀地感受蹣跚和顫抖意味著什麼。
因此,在這幾分鐘時間裡,我希望我已能將一些我對事物的觀感分享給你們,並讓你們知道,文字是有色彩和情感的,數字是有形狀和個性的,這樣的世界會比往常看起來更豐富、更寬闊,我希望我已經帶給你們學習用新眼光看世界的渴望。
謝謝。
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The second question was an Icelandic word. I'm assuming there are not many people here who speak Icelandic. So let me narrow the choices down to two. Hnugginn: is it a happy word, or a sad word? What do you say? Okay. Some people say it's happy. Most people, a majority of people, say sad. And it actually means sad. (Laughter) Why do, statistically, a majority of people say that a word is sad, in this case, heavy in other cases? In my theory, language evolves in such a way that sounds match, correspond with the subjective, with the personal intuitive experience of the listener.
Let's have a look at the third question. It's a line from a poem by John Keats. Words, like numbers, express fundamental relationships between objects and events and forces that constitute our world. It stands to reason that we, existing in this world, should in the course of our lives absorb intuitively those relationships. And poets, like other artists, play with those intuitive understandings. In the case of hare, it's an ambiguous sound in English. It can also mean the fibers that grow from a head. And if we think of that -- let me put the picture up -- the fibers represent vulnerability. They yield to the slightest movement or motion or emotion. So what you have is an atmosphere of vulnerability and tension. The hare itself, the animal -- not a cat, not a dog, a hare -- why a hare? Because think of the picture, not the word, the picture. The overlong ears, the overlarge feet, helps us to picture, to feel intuitively, what it means to limp and to tremble.
So in these few minutes, I hope I've been able to share a little bit of my vision of things, and to show you that words can have colors and emotions, numbers, shapes and personalities. The world is richer, vaster than it too often seems to be. I hope that I've given you the desire to learn to see the world with new eyes.
Thank you.