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我現在要和大家分享一個我大約有十多年不曾談過的故事,因此,請大家包涵,讓我帶領各位走過這段旅程。我22歲時,有天下班回家,給狗繫上狗鍊,跟往常一樣去遛狗,我沒想到那一刻會從此改變了我的一生。當我正準備開始遛狗時,有個男人在酒吧喝完酒,拿出車鑰匙,上了車,往南開去-或不管什麼方向。當時我正跑過馬路,我只記得彷彿有一顆手榴彈在我腦裡炸開,我記得我雙手撲地,感到我的生命之血從脖子和口腔裡傾洩而出。
實際情況是,他闖紅燈,撞上我和我的狗,我的狗被壓在車下,我在車前飛了出去,然後他輾過了我的雙腿。我的左腿被車輪捲了進去,保險桿打中我的喉嚨,將喉嚨割裂。我最後的診斷結果是胸部鈍器傷,我的主動脈移到心臟後方,被割斷了,血從我的口腔裡汩汩湧出,冒著血泡,還有一些可怕的事發生在我身上。我完全不知道發生了什麼事,但一些陌生人伸出援手,讓我的心臟保持活動、跳動;我說活動,是因為它只是微微顫動。他們試著恢復我的心跳。有個人很聰明,將一支筆管插入我的脖子,打開我的呼吸道,讓我能吸進一點空氣。我的肺塌陷了,有人打開我的胸腔,放進一根別針支撐著,阻止悲劇發生。總之我被送進了醫院,全身被冰塊包裹著,然後在藥物的作用下陷入昏迷。
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以下為系統擷取之英文原文
I'm actually going to share something with you I haven't talked about probably in more than 10 years. So bear with me as I take you through this journey. When I was 22 years old, I came home from work, put a leash on my dog and went for my usual run. I had no idea that at that moment my life was going to change forever. While I was preparing my dog for the run, a man was finishing drinking at a bar, picked up his car keys, got into a car and headed south, or wherever he was. I was running across the street, and the only thing that I actually remember is feeling like a grenade went off in my head. And I remember putting my hands on the ground and feeling my life's blood emptying out of my neck and my mouth.
What had happened is he ran a red light and hit me and my dog. She ended up underneath the car. I flew out in front of the car, and then he ran over my legs. My left leg got caught up in the wheel well -- spun it around. The bumper of the car hit my throat,slicing it open. I ended up with blunt chest trauma. Your aorta comes up behind your heart. It's your major artery, and it was severed, so my blood was gurgling out of my mouth. It foamed, and horrible things were happening to me. I had no idea what was going on, but strangers intervened, kept my heart moving, beating. I say moving because it was quivering and they were trying to put a beat back into it. Somebody was smart and put a Bic pen in my neck to open up my airway so that I could get some air in there. And my lung collapsed, so somebody cut me open and put a pin in there as well to stop that catastrophic event from happening. Somehow I ended up at the hospital. I was wrapped in ice and then eventually put into a drug-induced coma.
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18個月後,我清醒過來,眼睛看不見,無法說話,無法行走,瘦到只剩64磅(29公斤),醫院根本不知道該如何處理像我這樣的病人。事實上,他們開始叫我「Gomer」(醫院裡不受歡迎者),那是另一個故事,我們就不提了。我動了無數次手術才接好脖子,心臟也修復了好幾次,有些功能正常,有些不正常。我身體裡裝了不少鈦金屬架,還有大體捐贈的骨骼,好讓我的腿能正常活動。最後,我裝了塑膠鼻子、滿嘴瓷牙和各式各樣的東西,但總算有點人樣了。提起這些往事有時還是會令人悲從中來,所以請多包涵。我動過50多次手術,但誰還會去數那些?
最後,醫院決定該是我出院的時候了,他們得騰出病床給其他無論遭遇了什麼,但他們認為還有救的病人。所有人都不認為我有康復的可能。基本上,他們像是在牆上掛了地圖,擲飛鏢決定,於是我進了一間科羅拉多州的老人院。我知道你們都搔著腦袋想,「老人院?你去那裡幹嘛?」但各位想想,現場諸位擁有的技能和才智老人院裡全都有,那些老人擁有這些技能和才智,他們勝過現場大多數人的就是人生智慧,因為他們擁有很長的人生閱歷,我當時需要的正是那種智慧。
但想像一下,當我出現在他們門前時,對他們而言會是怎樣的情況?當時我已經胖了4磅(1.8公斤),所以體重是68磅(31公斤)。我沒有頭髮,穿著醫院的病人服和某人捐給我的網球鞋,一手拄著白色拐杖,另一手提著裝滿醫療紀錄的手提箱。因此,老人們意識到他們需要召開緊急會議。(笑聲),他們退了開來,彼此對望著,然後說,「好吧,我們有什麼本事可用?這孩子還有很多地方得處理。」
他們最後開始用他們的才智和技能處理我所需的一切,但他們首先要做的是瞭解我最迫切的需求是什麼。我得學會像正常人一樣進食,因為之前我一直是透過一根從胸口插入靜脈的管子進食,因此我必須重新學習正常進食。他們帶領我走過那段歷程,然後他們想到,「嗯,她需要傢俱,她現在睡在這棟公寓的一角。」他們進入儲藏室,將所有多餘的傢俱集中起來-給我水壺、鍋子、毛毯,所有東西。接下來,我需要的是改變外觀;脫下綠色病人服,穿上化學纖維製花上衣。(笑聲)我們就不提當我頭髮長回時他們想強迫我做的髮型了,但我確實拒絕將頭髮染成藍色。
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18 months later I woke up. I was blind, I couldn't speak, and I couldn't walk. I was 64 lbs.The hospital really has no idea what to do with people like that. And in fact, they started to call me a Gomer. That's another story we won't even get into. I had so many surgeries to put my neck back together, to repair my heart a few times. Some things worked, some things didn't. I had lots of titanium put in me, cadaver bones to try to get my feet moving the right way. And I ended up with a plastic nose, porcelain teeth and all kinds of other things.But eventually I started to look human again. But it's hard sometimes to talk about these things, so bear with me. I had more than 50 surgeries. But who's counting?
So eventually, the hospital decided it was time for me to go. They needed to open up space for somebody else that they thought could come back from whatever they were going through. Everybody lost faith in me being able to recover. So they basically put a map up on the wall, threw a dart, and it landed at a senior home here in Colorado. And I know all of you are scratching your head: "A senior citizens' home? What in the world are you going to do there?" But if you think about all of the skills and talent that are in this room right now, that's what a senior home has. So there were all these skills and talentsthat these seniors had. The one advantage that they had over most of you is wisdom,because they had a long life. And I needed that wisdom at that moment in my life.
But imagine what it was like for them when I showed up at their doorstep? At that point, I had gained four pounds, so I was 68 lbs. I was bald. I was wearing hospital scrubs. And somebody donated tennis shoes for me. And I had a white cane in one hand and a suitcase full of medical records in another hand. And so the senior citizens realized that they needed to have an emergency meeting. (Laughter) So they pulled back and they were looking at each other, and they were going, "Okay, what skills do we have in this room?This kid needs a lot of work."
So they eventually started matching their talents and skills to all of my needs. But one of the first things they needed to do was assess what I needed right away. I needed to figure out how to eat like a normal human being, since I'd been eating through a tube in my chest and through my veins. So I had to go through trying to eat again. And they went through that process. And then they had to figure out: "Well she needs furniture. She is sleeping in the corner of this apartment." So they went to their storage lockers and all gathered their extra furniture -- gave me pots and pans, blankets, everything. And then the next thing that I needed was a makeover. So out went the green scrubs and in came the polyester and floral prints. (Laughter) We're not going to talk about the hairstyles that they tried to force on me once my hair grew back. But I did say no to the blue hair.
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接下來,他們決定我得重新學習說話,如果無法說話、看不見東西,就無法獨立生活。他們認為是否能看見是一回事,但他們得先讓我學會說話,所以辦公室主任Sally白天教我說話-這相當困難,因為當你還是個孩子時,可以將一切視為理所當然,不知不覺就學會了,但對已是成年人的我來說,感覺相當尷尬,我必須學習如何協調我的新喉嚨和舌頭、新牙齒和嘴唇、學習吸氣,然後發出聲音,所以我就像兩歲小孩那樣拒絕配合。
但那些老人有更好的主意。他們試著引起我的興趣,所以他們晚上教我玩髒話拼字遊戲。(笑聲)還有偷偷地教我如何像水手那樣罵人,所以我打算讓各位自行想像,當Sally終於重建我的自信後,我最先說出來的是哪些話?
(笑聲)
我從那裡繼續前進。一位以前當過老師、罹患阿茲海默症的老人負責教我寫字,這項多餘的學習還真是對我頗有幫助,所以我們繼續進行。(笑聲)其中一個轉捩點是讓我以盲人身份重新學習過馬路。所以請閉上眼睛,想像一下必須過馬路的情況。你不知道馬路有多寬,也不知道自己是否偏離了方向;你聽見汽車颼颼地來回奔馳,而你曾經歷過恐怖的事故,讓你落得這步田地,因此我必須克服兩道障礙。第一是創傷後壓力症候群,每當我走近街角或路肩時都會恐慌。第二是試著弄清楚如何過馬路。
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So eventually what went on is they decided that, well I need to learn to speak. So you can't be an independent person if you're not able to speak and can't see. So they figured not being able to see is one thing, but they need to get me to talk. So while Sally, the office manager, was teaching me to speak in the day -- it's hard, because when you're a kid, you take things for granted. You learn things unconsciously. But for me, I was an adult and it was embarrassing, and I had to learn how to coordinate my new throat with my tongueand my new teeth and my lips, and capture the air and get the word out. So I acted like a two-year-old and refused to work.
But the men had a better idea. They were going to make it fun for me. So they were teaching me cuss word Scrabble at night, (Laughter) and then, secretly, how to swear like a sailor. So I'm going to just leave it to your imagination as to what my first words werewhen Sally finally got my confidence built.
(Laughter)
So I moved on from there. And a former teacher who happened to have Alzheimer's took on the task of teaching me to write. The redundancy was actually good for me. So we'll just keep moving on. (Laughter) One of the pivotal times for me was actually learning to cross a street again as a blind person. So close your eyes. Now imagine you have to cross a street. You don't know how far that street is and you don't know if you're going straight and you hear cars whizzing back and forth, and you had a horrible accident that landed you in this situation. So there were two obstacles I had to get through. One was post-traumatic stress disorder. And every time I approached the corner or the curb I would panic. And the second one was actually trying to figure out how to cross that street.
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所以其中一位老人上前來,將我拉到街角,然後說,「當你認為該過馬路時,只要將柺杖伸出去,如果它被撞了,就別過馬路」。(笑聲)很有道理。但當第三根拐杖颼地一聲飛過馬路時,他們意識到必須集合眾人的資源,於是他們籌措資金讓我進了Braille盲人點字學會,學習失明者必備的技能,也為我弄到一隻導盲犬。牠改變了我的生命。我能回大學唸書都是因為那些老人對我的栽培,以及那隻導盲犬和我學習到的技能。
十年後,我重見光明。這不是奇蹟。我決定動了三個手術,其中一個是實驗性質的,事實上是由機器人進行手術,將我眼後的血腫取出。對我而言,最大的變化是整個世界不斷前進,出現許多創新和種種新事物-手機、筆電,都是我以前沒見過的東西。身為盲人時,你的視覺記憶會衰退,取而代之的是對物體的感覺,物體的聲音和氣味是什麼感覺。
所以,某天我在房裡時,看見一樣東西,我以為它是怪物,繞著它查看,心想,「摸摸看就是了。」我摸了它,立刻恍然大悟,「天哪,是洗衣籃。」(笑聲)當你看得見的時,所有事物都變得不同,因為你將它視為理所當然。但當你失明時,你對物體的記憶來自觸覺。
對我來說,最大的改變是,當我看著雙手,看到我失去了10年光陰,對家人和朋友而言已流逝的那段時間,不知怎麼的,對我來說彷彿是靜止的。但當我低下頭時,意識到時間也已從我身上流逝,我必須趕上它,所以我得繼續前進。當我發生意外時,並沒有「群眾資源」和「通力合作」這樣的辭彙,但這個概念確實存在-人們協力重建我的生命,人們協力重新教育我。如果沒有大家徹底的「通力合作」,我今天不可能站在這裡。
非常感謝。
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So one of the seniors just came up to me, and she pushed me up to the corner and she said, "When you think it's time to go, just stick the cane out there. If it's hit, don't cross the street." (Laughter) Made perfect sense. But by the third cane that went whizzing across the road, they realized that they needed to put the resources together, and they raised fundsso that I could go to the Braille Institute and actually gain the skills to be a blind person,and also to go get a guide dog who transformed my life. And I was able to return to college because of the senior citizens who invested in me, and also the guide dog and skill set I had gained.
10 years later I gained my sight back. Not magically. I opted in for three surgeries, and one of them was experimental. It was actually robotic surgery. They removed a hematoma from behind my eye. The biggest change for me was that the world moved forward, that there were innovations and all kinds of new things -- cellphones, laptops, all these things that I had never seen before. And as a blind person, your visual memory fades and is replaced with how you feel about things and how things sound and how things smell.
So one day I was in my room and I saw this thing sitting in my room and I thought it was a monster. So I was walking around it. And I go, "I'm just going to touch it." And I touched it and I went, "Oh my God, it's a laundry basket." (Laughter) So everything is different when you're a sighted person because you take that for granted. But when you're blind, you have the tactile memory for things.
The biggest change for me was looking down at my hands and seeing that I'd lost 10 years of my life. I thought that time had stood still for some reason and moved on for family and friends. But when I looked down, I realized that time marched on for me too and that I needed to get caught up, so I got going on it. We didn't have words like crowd-sourcing and radical collaboration when I had my accident. But the concept held true --people working with people to rebuild me; people working with people to re-educate me. I wouldn't be standing here today if it wasn't for extreme radical collaboration.
Thank you so much.