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從外表看來，約翰各方面都很順利。他剛剛簽了一個合約，以6位數價格賣掉了他在紐約僅僅買了五年的公寓；他碩士畢業的母校才剛提供他一份教職，這份教職不僅意味著一份薪水，也代表多年來頭一次福利。然而，即使所有事情看起來都很順利，約翰仍然在掙扎中，與他的成癮和無法掙脫的憂鬱鬥爭。
2003年6月11日夜晚，他爬上了曼哈頓大橋欄杆的邊緣，縱身一躍，跳入了變化莫測的河水中。奇怪的是，不，奇蹟般的是，他生還了。這一跳摔碎了他的右臂，使他所有肋骨都斷了，還刺穿了他的肺。他時而清醒時而昏迷地漂流著，沿著東河向下漂流，穿過布魯克林大橋，進入了Staten島渡輪的水道。渡輪上的乘客聽見他痛苦的叫喊，通知了船長，船長通知了海岸警衛隊，警衛隊把約翰打撈上來，送到Bellevue醫院。
事實上，這正是故事的開始。因為當約翰決心重新開始他的生活之後，先是身體上，然後是情感上，接著是精神上，他發現很難找到能幫助像他這樣嘗試過自殺的人的資源。
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以下為系統擷取之英文原文
From all outward appearances, John had everything going for him. He had just signed the contract to sell his New York apartment at a six-figure profit, and he'd only owned it for five years. The school where he graduated from with his master's had just offered him a teaching appointment, which meant, not only a salary, but benefits for the first time in ages. And yet, despite everything going really well for John, he was struggling, fighting addiction and a gripping depression.
On the night of June 11th, 2003, he climbed up to the edge of the fence on the Manhattan Bridge and he leaped to the treacherous waters below. Remarkably -- no, miraculously -- he lived. The fall shattered his right arm, broke every rib that he had, punctured his lung, and he drifted in and out of consciousness as he drifted down the East River, under the Brooklyn Bridge and out into the pathway of the Staten Island Ferry, where passengers on the ferry heard his cries of pain, contacted the boat's captain who contacted the Coast Guard who fished him out of the East River and took him to Bellevue Hospital.
And that's actually where our story begins. Because once John committed himself to putting his life back together -- first physically, then emotionally, and then spiritually -- he found that there were very few resources available to someone who has attempted to end their life in the way that he did.
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研究顯示，在試圖自殺的20個人中，19個會失敗；但這些失敗的人，第二次嘗試的時候，成功的可能性是前次的37倍。這些人毫無疑問是處於風險中的人群，能幫助他們的資源極少。這麼一來，當這些人試圖重新開始人生的時候，因為對於自殺的忌諱，我們不知道該說些什麼，所以大多時候我們對這件事隻字不提，這使得像約翰這樣的人更加陷入一種孤立無援的情況。
我對約翰的故事非常瞭解，因為我就是這個約翰，今天是我第一次在任何形式的公開場合，談起我曾經歷的這段旅程。在2006年失去一位親愛的老師，及去年失去一位好友，都是因為自殺的緣故之後，還有去年參加TEDActive會議的鼓勵，使我意識到，我必須從沉默中走出來，突破我自己的忌諱，來談論這個值得傳播的觀點。那就是這些做出艱難決定，開始重新生活的人們，需要更多的支持資源以及我們的幫助。
就像Trevor計劃（致力於同性戀、雙性戀、變性者等自殺防治的照護計劃）所說的，一切都會變得更好，一切都會越變越好。今天我選擇出櫃－一種完全不同類型的出櫃，是為了鼓勵你們，敦促你們。如果你曾經考慮過，或嘗試過自殺，或你認識嘗試這麼做的人，不妨談談這個問題，尋求幫助。這是一個值得進行的對話，一個值得散播的觀點。
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Research shows that 19 out of 20 people who attempt suicide will fail. But the people who fail are 37 times more likely to succeed the second time. This truly is an at-risk population with very few resources to support them. And what happens when people try to assemble themselves back into life, because of our taboos around suicide, we're not sure what to say, and so quite often we say nothing. And that furthers the isolation that people like John found themselves in.
I know John's story very well because I'm John. And this is, today, the first time in any sort of public setting I've ever acknowledged the journey that I have been on. But after having lost a beloved teacher in 2006 and a good friend last year to suicide, and sitting last year at TEDActive, I knew that I needed to step out of my silence and past my taboos to talk about an idea worth spreading -- and that is that people who have made the difficult choice to come back to life need more resources and need our help.
As the the Trevor Project says, it gets better. It gets way better. And I'm choosing to come out of a totally different kind of closet today to encourage you, to urge you, that if you are someone who has contemplated or attempted suicide, or you know somebody who has, talk about it, get help. It's a conversation worth having and an idea worth spreading.
Thank you.
