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Hanlon校長、全體教職員、尊貴的來賓、家長、同學、家屬和朋友,早安。恭喜達特茅斯學院2014年畢業生。因此-我發表演講是件怪事,我一向不喜歡演講,演講得站在一大群人面前,讓他們看著你,也得開口說話。站著對我來說不成問題,但你們看著我說話,我不習慣這樣,這讓我感到極度不安,坦白說是恐懼。口乾舌燥、心跳加速、一切都以慢動作呈現。我彷彿即將暈倒,或死掉或失禁之類的。我是指-別擔心,我不會暈倒、死掉或失禁,主要是因為告訴你們這可能發生,我就能中和一下這個感覺,彷彿大聲說出這些話是某種讓這一切不會發生的咒語。吐,我可能會吐,瞭解嗎?現在我也不會吐了,中和掉了,沒事了。總之,重點是我不喜歡演講,我是作家,我是電視編劇,我喜歡寫東西讓別人講。我確實考慮過讓艾蓮.朋佩歐或凱莉.華盛頓來這裡替我演講,但我的律師說,當你強迫他人穿越州境,FBI會找上門。因此-我一向不喜歡演講,因為演講令我恐懼不安,但這場演講?我實在不想發表這場演講。達特茅斯畢業演講?口乾舌燥、心跳加速、一切都以慢動作呈現、暈倒、死掉、失禁。如果像20年前一樣應該沒問題,如果回到我從達特茅斯畢業那天。
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President Hanlon, faculty, staff, honored guests, parents, students, families and friends—good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth graduating class of 2014!So.This is weird.Me giving a speech. In general, I do not like giving speeches. Giving a speech requires standing in front of large groups of people while they look at you and it also requires talking. I can do the standing part OK. But the you looking and the me talking ... I am not a fan. I get this overwhelming feeling of fear. Terror, really. Dry mouth, heart beats superfast, everything gets a little bit slow motion. Like I might pass out. Or die. Or poop my pants or something. I mean, don't worry. I'm not going to pass out or die or poop my pants. Mainly because just by telling you that it could happen, I have somehow neutralized it as an option. Like as if saying it out loud casts some kind of spell where now it cannot possibly happen now. Vomit. I could vomit. See. Vomiting is now also off the table. Neutralized it. We're good.Anyway, the point is. I do not like to give speeches. I'm a writer. I'm a TV writer. I like to write stuff for other people to say. I actually contemplated bringing Ellen Pompeo or Kerry Washington here to say my speech for me ... but my lawyer pointed out that when you drag someone across state lines against their will, the FBI comes looking for you, so... I don't like giving speeches, in general, because of the fear and terror. But this speech? This speech, I really did not want to give.A Dartmouth Commencement speech? Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop. Look, it would be fine if this were, 20 years ago. If it were back in the day when I graduated from Dartmouth.
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23年前,我坐你們所坐的位置聆聽Elizabeth Dole演講。她十分優秀,她既冷靜又自信,確實與眾不同。感覺就像她只是和一小群人談話,感覺就像朋友間的圍爐夜話,彷彿是Liddy Dole與她9000個密友談話。因為那是20年前的事,她只是與一群人談話,20年後的現在呢?這並非圍爐夜話,並非只有你們和我能聽見。這場演講將拍成影片上傳網路、貼上Twitter。NPR有個專門收集畢業演講的網站,整個網站都是畢業演講;也有對畢業演講進行評論、諷刺、剖析的網站,還真怪。令人神經緊繃,對痛恨公開演講的內向完美主義作家來說有點殘酷。當Hanlon校長打電話給我-順帶一提,我十分感謝Hanlon校長一月時向我提出邀請,讓我整整享受了六個月的恐懼與焦慮。當他打電話給我時,我差點拒絕了,差一點。口乾舌燥、心跳加速、一切都以慢動作呈現、暈倒、死掉、失禁。但我還是來了,我想這麼做,我正這麼做。知道為什麼嗎?因為我喜歡挑戰,因為今年我立志做令自己害怕的事,因為二十多年前,當我從River Cluster宿舍區一路上坡、冒著風雪前往霍普金斯藝術中心參加彩排時,我不曾想過有一天我會站在這裡,站在老松木講臺上看著台下的你們,在達特茅斯畢業演講中分享人生智慧。
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Twenty-three years ago, I was sitting right where you are now. And I was listening to Elizabeth Dole speak. And she was great. She was calm and she was confident. It was just ... different. It felt like she was just talking to a group of people. Like a fireside chat with friends. Just Liddy Dole and like 9,000 of her closest friends. Because it was 20 years ago. And she was just talking to a group of people.Now? Twenty years later? This is no fireside chat. It's not just you and me. This speech is filmed and streamed and tweeted and uploaded. NPR has like, a whole site dedicated to Commencement speeches. A whole site just about commencement speeches. There are sites that rate them and mock them and dissect them. It's weird. And stressful. And kind of vicious if you're an introvert perfectionist writer who hates speaking in public in the first place.When President Hanlon called me—and by the way, I would like to thank President Hanlon for asking me way back in January, thus giving me a full six months of terror and panic to enjoy. When President Hanlon called me, I almost said no. Almost.Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop.But I'm here. I am gonna do it. I'm doing it. You know why?Because I like a challenge. And because this year I made myself a promise that I was going to do the stuff that terrifies me. And because, 20-plus years ago when I was trudging uphill from the River Cluster through all that snow to get to the Hop for play rehearsal, I never imagined that I would one day be standing here, at the Old Pine lectern. Staring out at all of you. About to throw down on some wisdom in the Dartmouth Commencement address.
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因此你們知道-是的,此時此刻。此外,我來這裡是因為我真的很想吃EBAs餐廳的食物。好,我想告訴你們,每當有人問我打算在這場演講中說什麼時,我都會大膽而自信地告訴他們我有各方面的智慧可以分享。這是謊言,我認為自己沒資格給你們什麼建議,這裡沒什麼智慧,因此我能做的只有與所有達特茅斯畢業生分享一些或許對你們有用的經驗,一些永遠不會出現在Meredith Grey旁白或Papa Pope獨白中的話,一些也許我不該在這裡說的話,因為會被上傳網路、貼上Twitter。但我打算假裝這是20年前,只有你們和我聽得見這場演講,我們進行的是一場圍爐夜話,不管外面的世界與外界的想法,反正我已經說了大概五次「失禁」,木已成舟等等。與你們分享我的經驗之前,我想跟你們的父母說兩句話,因為這是20年後可能發生的事。我現在是個母親,因此我知道一些非比尋常的事。我有三個女兒,我親自教養她們。你們不明白其中的意義,但你們的父母明白。你們認為今天是屬於你們的日子,但你們的父母,養育你們、忍受你們的人,他們訓練你們如廁、教導你們閱讀,他們千辛萬苦地度過了你們的青春期,他們被折磨了21年,不曾宰了你們。你們稱這個日子為你們的「畢業日」,但這不僅是屬於你們的日子,也是屬於他們的日子。這是他們取回美好生活的日子,這是他們獲得自由的日子,這是他們的「獨立日」。因此各位家長,我向你們致敬。鑒於我有個八個月大的孩子,我期待20年後加入你們的自由行列。
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So, you know, yeah. Moments.Also, I'm here because I really, really wanted some EBAs.OK.I want to say right now that every single time someone asked me what I was going to talk about in this speech, I would boldly and confidently tell them that I had all kinds wisdom to share. I was lying. I feel wildly unqualified to give you advice. There is no wisdom here. So all I can do is talk about some stuff that could maybe be useful to you, from one Dartmouth grad to another. Some stuff that won't ever show up in a Meredith Grey voiceover or a Papa Pope monologue. Some stuff I probably shouldn't be telling you here now because of the uploading and the streaming and the tweeting. But I am going to pretend that it is 20 years ago. That it's just you and me. That we're having a fireside chat. Screw the outside world and what they think. I've already said "poop" like five times already anyway ... things are getting real up in here. OK, wait. Before I talk to you. I want to talk to your parents. Because the other thing about it being 20 years later is that I'm a mother now. So I know some things, some very different things. I have three girls. I've been to the show. You don't know what that means, but your parents do. You think this day is all about you. But your parents ... the people who raised you ... the people who endured you ... they potty trained you, they taught you to read, they survived you as a teenager, they have suffered 21 years and not once did they kill you. This day ... you call it your graduation day. But this day is not about you. This is their day. This is the day they take back their lives, this is the day they earn their freedom. This day is their Independence Day. So, parents, I salute you. And as I have an eight-month-old, I hope to join your ranks of freedom in 20 years!
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好,現在進入真正的演講主題,也許你可稱之為「一位電視製作人認為畢業前應該知道的一些瑣事」。準備好了嗎?人們在發表這類演講時通常會分享一些人生智慧和衷心建議,他們有可傳授的智慧,有可分享的經驗,他們會告訴你追尋你的夢想、聆聽內心的聲音、改變世界、留下你的足跡、尋找內心的聲音、唱出你的歌、擁抱失敗、擁有夢想、擁有遠大夢想、別停止夢想、直到所有夢想成真。我認為這是鬼扯,我認為很多人都擁有夢想,當他們忙著夢想時,那些真正快樂、真正成功、真正感興趣、真正投入、真正有能力的人正忙著行動。那些夢想家望著天空計畫著、希望著、不斷訴說他的夢想,總是說著以「我想成為…」、「我希望…」開頭的句子。「我想成為作家」、「我希望能環遊世界」,然後他們開始夢想。沉默寡言的人兩杯雞尾酒下肚就開始吹噓他的夢想,嬉皮模樣的人在冥想中規劃遠大的夢想。也許你將夢想寫在日記中,或滔滔不絕地與好友、女友、母親討論,感覺十分美妙。你不斷談論、不斷計畫、天馬行空地構思人生。每個人都說這是你應該做的,對嗎?我是指,歐普拉和比爾.蓋茲就是這樣成功的,對嗎?不,夢想十分迷人,但它們僅是夢想,轉瞬即逝、朝生暮死、曇花一現。但夢想不會因擁有而成真,實現夢想十分困難,造成改變十分困難,因此我想第一課是:埋葬你的夢想,做個行動家,而非夢想家。
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OK. So here comes the real deal part of the speech, or you might call it, Some Random Stuff Some Random Alum Who Runs a TV Show Thinks I Should Know Before I Graduate:You ready?When people give these kinds of speeches, they usually tell you all kinds of wise and heartfelt things. They have wisdom to impart. They have lessons to share. They tell you: Follow your dreams. Listen to your spirit. Change the world. Make your mark. Find your inner voice and make it sing. Embrace failure. Dream. Dream and dream big. As a matter of fact, dream and don't stop dreaming until all of your dreams come true.I think that's crap.I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, engaged, powerful people, are busy doing.The dreamers. They stare at the sky and they make plans and they hope and they talk about it endlessly. And they start a lot of sentences with "I want to be ..." or "I wish.""I want to be a writer." "I wish I could travel around the world." And they dream of it. The buttoned-up ones meet for cocktails and they brag about their dreams, and the hippie ones have vision boards and they meditate about their dreams. Maybe you write in journals about your dreams or discuss it endlessly with your best friend or your girlfriend or your mother. And it feels really good. You're talking about it, and you're planning it. Kind of. You are blue-skying your life. And that is what everyone says you should be doing. Right? I mean, that's what Oprah and Bill Gates did to get successful, right?No.Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It's hard work that makes things happen. It's hard work that creates change.So, Lesson One, I guess is: Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer.
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也許你知道你的夢想是什麼,也許你找不到熱情所在而迷茫,其實這無關緊要。你不必知道,你只要邁開前進的腳步,你只要持續行動,抓住下一個機會,不斷嘗試新事物。不必符合你理想中完美的工作或完美的生活,「完美」無聊至極,「夢想」並非現實,只有「行動」才是真的。因此當你心想:「我希望能去旅行。」很好,賣了你的破車,買張去曼谷的機票,然後出發。現在就行動,我是說真的。你想當個作家?作家必須每天寫作,所以開始寫吧!你沒工作?找個工作,什麼工作都行,別坐在家裡等待奇蹟。你以為你是誰?威廉王子嗎?不,找個工作,出門上班,做到你有能力改行為止。我不曾想過成為電視編劇,我在這所常春藤盟校的神聖殿堂唸書時不曾有過任何一次對自己說:「我想寫一部電視劇。」你知道我想做什麼嗎?我想成為諾貝爾獎得主作家托尼.莫里森那樣的人,那是我的夢想。我瘋狂地構思這個夢想,我不斷地夢想,當我這麼夢想時,我住在姐姐家的地下室。夢想家最後往往住在親戚家的地下室,僅供參考。總之我住在地下室,夢想成為第二個諾貝爾獎作家托尼.莫里森。你猜如何?我不可能成為諾貝爾獎作家托尼.莫里森,因為托尼.莫里森已經佔了那個位置,她可沒興趣放棄那個位置。因此某天我坐在地下室讀《紐約時報》,上面有篇文章說-進南加大電影學院比進哈佛法學院還難。我想如果我能做成為托尼.莫里森的夢,不如著手行動。在電影學院中,我發現一種全新的說故事方式,一種適合我的方式,一種能帶給我快樂的方式,一種能顛覆我的思維、改變我對世界看法的方式。多年後,我與托尼.莫里森共進晚餐,她只想和我討論《實習醫生格蕾》。如果我不曾停止成為她的夢想,努力做自己,這一切都不會發生。
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Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you're paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is. The truth is, it doesn't matter. You don't have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn't have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring and dreams are not real. Just ... do. So you think, "I wish I could travel." Great. Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go. Right now. I'm serious.You want to be a writer? A writer is someone who writes every day, so start writing. You don't have a job? Get one. Any job. Don't sit at home waiting for the magical opportunity. Who are you? Prince William? No. Get a job. Go to work. Do something until you can do something else.I did not dream of being a TV writer. Never, not once when I was here in the hallowed halls of the Ivy League, did I say to myself, "Self, I want to write TV." You know what I wanted to be? I wanted to be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison. That was my dream. I blue sky'ed it like crazy. I dreamed and dreamed. And while I was dreaming, I was living in my sister's basement. Dreamers often end up living in the basements of relatives, FYI. Anyway, there I was in that basement, and I was dreaming of being Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison. And guess what? I couldn't be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison, because Toni Morrison already had that job and she wasn't interested in giving it up. So one day I was sitting in that basement and I read an article that said—it was in The New York Times—and it said it was harder to get into USC Film School than it was to get into Harvard Law School. And I thought I could dream about being Toni Morrison, or I could do.At film school, I discovered an entirely new way of telling stories. A way that suited me. A way that brought me joy. A way that flipped this switch in my brain and changed the way I saw the world. Years later, I had dinner with Toni Morrison. All she wanted to talk about was Grey's Anatomy. That never would have happened if I hadn't stopped dreaming of becoming her and gotten busy becoming myself.
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第二課:明天將成為你有生以來最糟的一天。當我1991年從達特茅斯畢業那天,當我坐在你們現在所坐的位置,盯著Elizabeth Dole演講時,我得承認我不知道她在說什麼,甚至聽不清她說的話。並非因為我不知所措或情緒激動之類的,而是因為我嚴重宿醉,痛苦得無以復加的宿醉。我在這裡必須先跟Hanlon校長道歉,因為我知道你們試著建立一個更好、更有責任感的達特茅斯,我十分贊同且欽佩這個理想,這是必須的。但我在畢業前夕還是喝掛了,我在畢業前夕喝掛了的原因:我喝光了Bones Gate(兄弟會)的瑪格麗特酒,是因為我知道畢業典禮後我會脫下禮帽和禮袍,父母會把我的行李拿到車上,我會回家,或許再也不會回到漢諾威,即使我回來也沒有意義,因為一切都不再相同,因為我不會再住在這裡。畢業當天我十分悲傷,我朋友都在慶祝、開派對,興奮不已、開心萬分,不再有學校、不再有書本、不再有老師討厭的目光。我心想:這是在跟我開玩笑嗎?這裡有各式各樣的冷凍優格,這裡有免費健身房,曼哈頓的公寓比我在North Mass的套房還小,誰在乎有沒有地方做頭髮?我所有的朋友都在這裡,這裡有我的劇團。我很悲傷,我已瞭解世界運轉的方式,我已瞭解成人世界的悲哀。
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Lesson Two. Lesson two is that tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you.When I graduated from Dartmouth that day in 1991, when I was sitting right where you are and I was staring up at Elizabeth Dole speaking, I will admit that I have no idea what she was saying. Couldn't even listen to her. Not because I was overwhelmed or emotional or any of that. But because I had a serious hangover. Like, an epic painful hangover because (and here is where I apologize to President Hanlon because I know that you are trying to build a better and more responsible Dartmouth and I applaud you and I admire you and it is very necessary) but I was really freaking drunk the night before. And the reason I'd been so drunk the night before, the reason I'd done upside down margarita shots at Bones Gate was because I knew that after graduation, I was going to take off my cap and gown, my parents were going to pack my stuff in the car and I was going to go home and probably never come back to Hanover again. And even if I did come back, it wouldn't matter because it wouldn't be the same because I didn't live here anymore.On my graduation day, I was grieving. My friends were celebrating. They were partying. They were excited. So happy. No more school, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks. And I was like, are you freaking kidding me? You get all the fro yo you want here! The gym is free. The apartments in Manhattan are smaller than my suite in North Mass. Who cared if there was no place to get my hair done? All my friends are here. I have a theatre company here. I was grieving. I knew enough about how the world works, enough about how adulthood plays out, to be grieving.
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我想分享一些自己的糗事,也許會讓你們感覺好一些。當母親替我收拾房間時,我躺在宿舍地板上哭,我拒絕幫助她,死也不肯離開。我採取非暴力抗議方式拒絕離開這裡,例如像抗議者一樣拖著腳步,只差沒喊口號,實在相當悲慘。如果今天你們當中沒有任何人躺在骯髒的硬木地板上哭著看母親替你收拾房間,你們的職業生涯起點已比我領先,你們已經勝出。我真正的感受是,我知道現實世界多糟,令人恐懼,大學很棒。你們在這裡是特別的,你們唸的是常春藤盟校,此刻你們位於人生目標的巔峰。目前為止,你們的畢生目標是進入一所好大學,順利畢業。今天,此時此刻,你們做到了。離開校園那一刻,你認為你可以席捲世界,所有大門都將為你敞開,你的左右將充滿笑聲、鑽石和晚宴。真實情形是,對世上其他人來說,現在你只是無名小卒。也許你是個實習生,也許是個低薪助理,感覺很可怕。對我來說現實世界糟透了,我總是感覺自己像個失敗者;除了像個失敗者,我還感到迷惘。藉此引出我對第二課的解說。
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Here's where I am going to embarrass myself and make you all feel maybe a little bit better about yourselves. I literally lay down on the floor of my dorm room and cried while my mother packed up my room. I refused to help her. Like, hell no I won't go. I nonviolent-protested leaving here. Like, went limp like a protestor, only without the chanting—it was really pathetic. If none of you lie down on a dirty hardwood floor and cry today while your mommy packs up your dorm room, you are already starting your careers out ahead of me. You are winning.But here's the thing. The thing I really felt like I knew was that the real world sucks. And it is scary. College is awesome. You're special here. You're in the Ivy League, you are at the pinnacle of your life's goals at this point—your entire life up until now has been about getting into some great college and then graduating from that college. And now, today, you have done it. The moment you get out of college, you think you are going to take the world by storm. All doors will be opened to you. It's going to be laughter and diamonds and soirees left and right. What really happens is that, to the rest of the world, you are now at the bottom of the heap. Maybe you're an intern, possibly a low-paid assistant. And it is awful. The real world, it sucked so badly for me. I felt like a loser all of the time. And more than a loser? I felt lost.Which brings me to clarify lesson number two.
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明天將成為你有生以來最糟的一天,但千萬別成為一個混蛋,這一點很重要。是的,外面的世界舉步維艱,但困難是相對的。我來自中產階級家庭,我父母都是學者,我出生於民權運動時期後,我蹣跚學步時正值女權運動時期,我住在美國,這一切都意味著我擁有自由、人權,發言權與生育權。我就讀達特茅斯,獲得常春藤盟校學位,畢業後很難再感受到自己的特別,這種失落感的折磨彷彿肚臍中的污垢令我感到難堪。在世上其他地方,女性僅因想受教育而遭受迫害,奴隸制度依然存在,孩童仍死於營養不良。在這個國家,死於槍支暴力的人數遠勝於世上其他國家。在美國,女性遭受性侵的情況相當普遍,令人不安,甚至逐步上升到令人震驚的程度。因此,是的,明天或許令你難以忍受,如同我當時的感受,但當我注視著那些肚臍中的污垢時,有了一些領悟。我們十分幸運,我們擁有上天的恩賜,我們有機會獲得良好的教育,我們有機會吃到市面上所有種類的冷凍優格,我們可以滑雪,可以在凌晨一點前往EBAs吃東西,我們可以冒著凍傷的危險開營火晚會,我們可以隨意享用免費跑步機,我們可以玩啤酒乒乓玩到掛。
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Tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you. But don't be an asshole.Here's the thing. Yes, it is hard out there. But hard is relative. I come from a middle-class family, my parents are academics, I was born after the civil rights movement, I was a toddler during the women's movement, I live in the United States of America, all of which means I'm allowed to own my freedom, my rights, my voice, and my uterus; and I went to Dartmouth and I earned an Ivy League degree.The lint in my navel that accumulated while I gazed at it as I suffered from feeling lost about how hard it was to not feel special after graduation ... that navel lint was embarrassed for me.Elsewhere in the world, girls are harmed simply because they want to get an education. Slavery still exists. Children still die from malnutrition. In this country, we lose more people to handgun violence than any other nation in the world. Sexual assault against women in America is pervasive and disturbing and continues at an alarming rate. So yes, tomorrow may suck for you—as it did for me. But as you stare at the lint in your navel, have some perspective. We are incredibly lucky. We have been given a gift. An incredible education has been placed before us. We ate all the fro-yo we could get our hands on. We skied. We had EBAs at 1 a.m. We built bonfires and got frostbite and had all the free treadmills. We beer-ponged our asses off.
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現在是向前看的時候了。尋找你喜愛的目標,你可以僅選擇一個目標,你需要花大量時間在現實世界中瞭解如何不再感覺自己像個失敗者,因此一個目標已經足夠,每週花點時間來做這件事。喔,既然談到這個話題,讓我提醒你們一件事:「標籤」對你毫無幫助。#女性通用#、#回到那晚#、#男性止步#、#姑娘們回來吧#、#別假裝標籤代表你做了什麼#。Twitter的標籤功能相當棒,我很喜歡,下星期我會把自己的名字做成標籤。但標籤不等於行動,標籤不會使你成為金恩博士,標籤無法改變任何事,標籤只是標籤,坐在電腦前打字,然後逛去看最喜愛的節目的是你。我經常這麼做,我看的是《冰與火之歌》。去做幾小時義工,將目光放在你本身之外的事物上,每週花點精力讓世界變得不那麼糟。有人說這麼做會增加幸福感,有人說這麼做會增加福報,我說這會讓你銘記:無論你出身於書香門第還是家中第一個唸大學的人,你現在呼吸的空氣都是無比珍貴的。珍惜這一切,別做個混蛋。
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Now it's time to pay it forward. Find a cause you love. It's OK to pick just one. You are going to need to spend a lot of time out in the real world trying to figure out how to stop feeling like a lost loser, so one cause is good. Devote some time every week to it.Oh. And while we are discussing this, let me say a thing. A hashtag is not helping. #yesallwomen #takebackthenight #notallmen #bringbackourgirls#StopPretendingHashtagsAreTheSameAsDoingSomething Hashtags are very pretty on Twitter. I love them. I will hashtag myself into next week. But a hashtag is not a movement. A hashtag does not make you Dr. King. A hashtag does not change anything. It's a hashtag. It's you, sitting on your butt, typing on your computer and then going back to binge-watching your favorite show. I do it all the time. For me, it's Game of Thrones.Volunteer some hours. Focus on something outside yourself. Devote a slice of your energies towards making the world suck less every week. Some people suggest doing this will increase your sense of well-being. Some say it's good karma. I say that it will allow you to remember that, whether you are a legacy or the first in your family to go to college, the air you are breathing right now is rare air. Appreciate it. Don't be an asshole.
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第三課:你們即將離校,你們將開始回饋、行動、工作,生命十分美好,你們做到了,你們成功了,一切都令人振奮而美好,至少對我來說是這樣。我熱愛我的生活,工作方面,我有三個電視節目;家庭方面,我有三個女兒。這一切都令人驚喜,我確實十分幸福。人們總是問我:你怎麼做到的?他們通常以羨慕和驚訝的語氣這麼問:珊達,你是怎麼做到這一切的?彷彿我擁有魔法或非凡智慧什麼的。你是怎麼做到這一切的?我通常只是笑著回答:「我是個善於規劃的人。」如果我感受到對方有些許善意,我會說:「我有許多貴人相助。」這是事實,但不完全是事實,這是我想與在座所有人分享的一點,不僅是針對女性,儘管這對女性來說相當重要。當你們進入職場,設法找出兼顧工作與家庭的方法,但這對男性來說也一樣重要,我認為設法找出兼顧工作與家庭方法的男性也逐漸增加。坦白說,達特茅斯的男性,如果你們尚未這麼做,現在就該著手行動。若不這麼做,父親這個詞很快就會被重新定義,你肯定不想成為落伍的人。
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Lesson number three.So you're out there, and you're giving back and you're doing, and it's working. And life is good. You are making it. You're a success. And it's exciting and it's great. At least it is for me. I love my life. I have three TV shows at work and I have three daughters at home. And it's all amazing, and I am truly happy. And people are constantly asking me, how do you do it?And usually, they have this sort of admiring and amazed tone.Shonda, how do you do it all?Like I'm full of magical magic and special wisdom-ness or something.How do you do it all?And I usually just smile and say like, "I'm really organized." Or if I'm feeling slightly kindly, I say, "I have a lot of help."And those things are true. But they also are not true.And this is the thing that I really want to say. To all of you. Not just to the women out there. Although this will matter to you women a great deal as you enter the work force and try to figure out how to juggle work and family. But it will also matter to the men, who I think increasingly are also trying to figure out how to juggle work and family. And frankly, if you aren't trying to figure it out, men of Dartmouth, you should be. Fatherhood is being redefined at a lightning-fast rate. You do not want to be a dinosaur.
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因此達特茅斯的女性和男性,當你們試著解決兼顧工作與家庭這個不可能的任務時,你們不斷聽見:「只要有貴人相助」、「只要善加規劃」、「只要再努力點」這樣的回答。身為一位成就非凡的女性,一位擁有三個孩子的單親媽媽,總是被詢問「你如何做到這一切?」,這次我想以百分之百的誠實回答各位這個問題,因為這裡只有我們,因為這是我們的圍爐夜話,因為必須有人跟你們說實話。珊達,你如何做到這一切?答案是:「我沒做到。」當你看見我在生命中某個領域獲得成功,幾乎可以肯定我在生命中另一個領域遭受失敗。如果我全力投入《醜聞》劇本的創作,我或許會錯過替孩子洗澡和講睡前故事的機會;如果我在家替孩子縫製萬聖節裝扮,我或許得放棄應全力投入的劇本修改;如果我參加某個權威性獎項的頒獎,我就會錯過孩子的第一堂游泳課;如果我參加女兒在學校的音樂劇首演,我就會錯過吳珊卓在《實習醫生格蕾》中的最後一個鏡頭;如果我在某個地方成功,就無法避免在其他地方失敗。這就是權衡,這就是成為強大的職業女性兼母親的「浮士德與魔鬼的交易」。
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So women and men of Dartmouth: As you try to figure out the impossible task of juggling work and family and you hear over and over and over again that you just need a lot of help or you just need to be organized or you just need to try just a little bit harder ... as a very successful woman, a single mother of three, who constantly gets asked the question "How do you do it all?" For once I am going to answer that question with 100 percent honesty here for you now. Because it's just us. Because it's our fireside chat. Because somebody has to tell you the truth.Shonda, how do you do it all?The answer is this: I don't.Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life. If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I am probably missing bath and story time at home. If I am at home sewing my kids' Halloween costumes, I'm probably blowing off a rewrite I was supposed to turn in. If I am accepting a prestigious award, I am missing my baby's first swim lesson. If I am at my daughter's debut in her school musical, I am missing Sandra Oh's last scene ever being filmed at Grey's Anatomy. If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other. That is the tradeoff. That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother.
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你永遠不會感到百分之百的舒坦,你永遠不會安心,你總會感到些許不適,總會失去某些東西,總會錯過某些東西。然而我希望女兒瞭解我是一位職業婦女,我想成為她們的榜樣,我喜歡看見她們來到我辦公室,知道這是Shondaland製作公司時的驕傲。這是以她們母親命名的製作公司,在她們的世界裡,母親經營公司;在她們的世界裡,母親佔據了星期四晚上的電視;在她們的世界裡,母親擁有工作。這是我成為更優秀母親的動力。我成為這樣的女性是因為我經營Shondaland,因為我整天寫作,因為我日以繼夜地創作。這樣的女性將成為更好的人以及更好的母親,因為這樣的女性是幸福的、充實的、完整的。我不希望她們心目中的我無所事事,我不希望她們心目中的我碌碌無為,因此第三課:任何說他們能兼顧一切的人都是騙子。
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You never feel a hundred percent OK; you never get your sea legs; you are always a little nauseous. Something is always lost. Something is always missing.And yet. I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example set for them. I like how proud they are when they come to my offices and know that they come to Shondaland. There is a land and it is named after their mother. In their world, mothers run companies. In their world, mothers own Thursday nights. In their world, mothers work. And I am a better mother for it. The woman I am because I get to run Shondaland, because I get write all day, because I get to spend my days making things up, that woman is a better person—and a better mother. Because that woman is happy. That woman is fulfilled. That woman is whole. I wouldn't want them to know the me who didn't get to do this all day long. I wouldn't want them to know the me who wasn't doing.Lesson Number Three is that anyone who tells you they are doing it all perfectly is a liar.
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好,我擔心我嚇到你們或讓你們感到恐懼,這並非我的本意。我希望你們邁開腳步,振奮起來,迎風而上,準備席捲世界。那是難以言喻的美妙感覺,完成眾人的期許,成為達特茅斯的風雲人物之一。我想說的重點是,如果你不這麼做也無所謂,我的重點是,畢業是可怕的。你可以躺在宿舍的硬木地板上哭著看媽媽替你收拾行李,你可以擁有成為托尼.莫里森這種不切實際、不得不放棄的夢想,你每天都可能在工作或家庭生活中感到力不從心。現實世界充滿艱辛,儘管如此,你仍可以在每天早上起床時想到:「我有三個優秀的孩子,我建立了令我引以為傲的事業,我熱愛我的生活,絕不會用它交換任何人的生活。」你仍可以在某天早上醒來,發現自己擁有不曾夢想過的生活。我的夢想並未成真,但我十分努力,最後建立一個我不曾想像過的帝國。因此我的夢想呢?管它去死。你可以某天醒來,發現自己是有趣的、強大的、忙碌的;你可以某天醒來,發現自己是個行動家;你也可以坐在現在所坐的位置,仰望著我,也許嚴重宿醉-希望你們不會如此。二十年後,你某天醒來,發現自己滿懷恐懼地躺在漢諾威酒店裡,因為你即將發表一場畢業演講。口乾舌燥、心跳加速、一切都以慢動作呈現、暈眩、瀕死、失禁。
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OK.I fear I've scared you or been a little bit bleak, and that was not my intention. It is my hope that you run out of here, excited, leaning forward, into the wind, ready to take the world by storm. That would be so very fabulous. For you to do what everyone expects of you. For you to just go be exactly the picture of hardcore Dartmouth awesome.My point, I think, is that it is OK if you don't. My point is that it can be scary to graduate. That you can lie on the hardwood floor of your dorm room and cry while your mom packs up your stuff. That you can have an impossible dream to be Toni Morrison that you have to let go of. That every day you can feel like you might be failing at work or at your home life. That the real world is hard.And yet, you can still wake up every single morning and go, "I have three amazing kids and I have created work I am proud of, and I absolutely love my life and I would not trade it for anyone else's life ever."You can still wake up one day and find yourself living a life you never even imagined dreaming of.My dreams did not come true. But I worked really hard. And I ended up building an empire out of my imagination. So my dreams? Can suck it.You can wake up one day and find that you are interesting and powerful and engaged. You can wake up one day and find that you are a doer. You can be sitting right where you are now. Looking up at me. Probably—hopefully, I pray for you—hung over. And then 20 years from now, you can wake up and find yourself in the Hanover Inn full of fear and terror because you are going to give the Commencement speech. Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop.
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你會成為哪一種人?2014年的哪一位畢業生將來會站在這裡?因為我查詢過,很少有校友擔任畢業演講嘉賓,大概只有我、羅伯特.弗洛斯特和羅傑斯先生,實在太瘋狂了。你們當中有誰最後能站在這裡?我希望你們當中有人能做到,我是說真的。當這一切成真時,你就會瞭解其中的感受。口乾舌燥、心跳加速、一切都以慢動作呈現。畢業生們,你們當中的每一個人都該為了自己的成就而驕傲,善用你的文憑,你不再是學生,你不再按表操課。你現在是現實世界的公民,你有責任成為一個有價值的人。投入社會、為社會奉獻,因為今天的你是真實的,你因此成為勇敢、傑出、有價值的人。每當你獲得機會,就挺身而出,讓他們看見你。大膽開口,讓人們聽見你的聲音。不畏口乾舌燥,不畏心跳加速,不畏一切以慢動作呈現。那又如何?你會怎樣?暈了嗎?死了嗎?失禁了嗎?不!這是你唯一真正需要知道的一堂課。你在這裡,你呼吸著珍貴的空氣,你感到自己活著,你是真正的你,你永遠是最真實的你。謝謝,祝好運。
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Which one of you will it be? Which member of the 2014 class is going to find themselves standing up here? Because I checked and it is pretty rare for an alum to speak here. It's pretty much just me and Robert Frost and Mr. Rogers, which is crazy awesome.Which one of you is going to make it up here? I really hope that it's one of you. Seriously.When it happens, you'll know what this feels like.Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything moves in slow motion.Graduates, every single one of you, be proud of your accomplishments. Make good on your diplomas.You are no longer students. You are no longer works in progress. You are now citizens of the real world. You have a responsibility to become a person worthy of joining and contributing to society. Because who you are today ... that's who you are.So be brave.Be amazing.Be worthy.And every single time you get a chance?Stand up in front of people.Let them see you. Speak. Be heard.Go ahead and have the dry mouth.Let your heart beat so, so fast.Watch everything move in slow motion.So what?You what?You pass out, you die, you poop?No.And this is really the only lesson you'll ever need to know ...You take it in.You breathe this rare air.You feel alive.You be yourself.You truly finally always be yourself.Thank you. Good luck.