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女士先生們,接下來是你們真正想聽的講者-珍妮佛.李女士。
謝謝Huddleston校長、尊貴的來賓、全體教職員和家長,特別感謝新罕布夏大學2014年畢業生。我已在Field House體育館、Murkland大樓、校友中心和校長室參加過派對,感覺就像重溫舊夢。事實上我第一次來到這所學校-謝謝,我太矮了,即使踩著這個。事實上我第一次來到這所學校才13或14歲,我堂哥Mark剛成為本校新生。我坐在Thompson大樓前的長椅上,心想:喔,這就是大學應有的感覺。Mark為我們打先鋒,然後我姐姐來這裡就讀,接著是我,然後是我堂弟,他在這裡與妻子相遇,因此-我的家族與UNH(新罕布夏大學)有很深的淵源,還有更深的債務。總之感覺就像我昨天還在這裡,因此當我受邀擔任畢業演講嘉賓,我的第一個反應是:我太年輕了!然後我妹妹十分好心的指出我已經42歲,然後我意識到我的年齡相當於你們的兩倍,感覺糟透了。然後我陷入一個更糟的想法,那就是:「我不夠格擔任畢業演講嘉賓。」最後讓我答應的正是這個可怕的想法。確實如此,因為藉由這個想法,我意識到或許在世上多活了幾個年頭的我可以與你們分享一些有用的經驗,這個經驗與自我懷疑有關,也就是把「我不夠好」當成座右銘,老實說這方面我算是經驗豐富。
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Thank you President Huddleston, distinguished guests, honored faculty, and parents…but especially thank you to the University of New Hampshire’s graduating class of 2014. It’s so fabulous to be back. I’ve already partied at the Field House, at Murkland, at the Alumni Center and the Presidents place…just like old times. I first came to this campus when I was just 14 and my older cousin Mark was starting as a freshman. I sat on a bench in front of Thompson Hall and I thought – this is what college is supposed to feel like. Mark paved the way for my older sister to come here, then me, then my younger cousin Alex…who met his wife here. So my family has deep roots here and deeper debt. And it really does feel like I was just here yesterday…. So much so, that when I was asked to be the commencement speaker, my first reaction was, I am way too young. And then my sister so kindly pointed out that I was 42, which I then realized made me pretty much exactly twice your age…which I then realized pretty much sucked.But then I moved onto a worse thought, which was: I’m not good enough to be the commencement speaker…” and ultimately it was that horrible thought that made me say yes.It did, because in that thought I realized there might be something during my few extra rounds on this planet that I had learned that might be of use to you. And it has to do with self-doubt, that “I’m- -not-good-enough” motto of living, something I’m a bit of an expert on.
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我和妹妹在一個富裕小鎮的一條貧窮街道上長大,每個美國人都穿著70年代的衣服。已經夠糟了,但我們穿的是70年代的二手衣。更糟的是,我有塔斯馬尼亞惡魔(袋獾)般的精力,卻像細木棒一樣弱不禁風。我的頭髮總是打結,衣服上總是有污漬,基本上我就是被霸凌的典型。我也確實遭受霸凌,遭受嚴重霸凌多年。你面臨的遭遇是:你所做的一切都是嘲笑和諷刺的助燃劑,你只能屈服於被霸凌的命運,自我懷疑由此而生。人們總是談論戴著玫瑰色眼鏡(過分樂觀)的危險,但我告訴你,戴著自我懷疑的眼鏡比這糟得多。噁心、厚重、巨大、骯髒,彷彿覆蓋著污泥,彷彿鏡片上住著一群蝸牛,幾乎不可能看清鏡片外的世界。如果不是我親愛的家人-他們今天也在現場,梳順我打結的頭髮,培養我對閱讀、繪畫和創作的熱愛,我不確定我會做出什麼事。他們幫助我在說故事、閱讀、寫作、繪畫中找到救贖,對我來說這是逃避,自我逃避、自我懷疑的時刻。夜晚躺在床上,我會編造神奇、磅礡、史詩般的故事。是的,有時是音樂和冒險故事,沉冤昭雪、正義獲得伸張、惡霸遭到報復的故事。
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My sister and I grew up on a poor street in a rich town. It was bad enough that everyone in America was wearing Seventies clothes, but we were in hand-me-down Seventies clothes. And to make it worse, I had the energy of the Tasmanian devil and the grace of a pile of pick-up sticks. My hair was perpetually full of knots. Stains on the clothes. Goodness, I was the perfect target for bullies. And I was bullied. Every day. For years. And something happens to you, when everything you do is fuel for ridicule and mockery. Eventually, you drink the bully koolaid and self-doubt takes.People talk about the dangers of rose-colored glasses, but let me tell you, the lenses of self-doubt are far worse. They are nasty. Thick and filthy… they’re covered in swamp scum and mold -- there’s like a family of snails living on them. And they’re nearly impossible to see past. Were it not for my family loving me, brushing out my tangled hair, fostering my love of books and drawing and creating, I’m not sure what I would have done. They helped me find my relief in story telling. Reading, writing, drawing, were moments of escape from myself. Lying in bed at night, I’d concoct magical, grand, epic and yes sometimes musical adventures, stories of wrongs righted, justices served, bullies revenged.
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是的,我想這應該是個徵兆,但我被該死的「自我懷疑」鏡片搞得疲憊不堪,因此無法看見,然後發生了一件事。我發現我並非唯一有「我不夠好」這種感覺的人,這發生在我經過很長一段時間終於交到第一個朋友之後,我得向她道謝,她今天也在現場,她是第一個挺身而出制止霸凌的人,因此這都歸功於她。她叫做珍,我們兩個就是「雙珍」。我們進入那個催化「自我懷疑」的恐怖溫床,稱之為「高中」,你們明白我的意思。充滿溫暖、髮香、荷爾蒙的氣息,你只顧著適應逐漸成熟的臉孔和身體,你的GPA成績就像索倫之眼中央的脈衝般起伏不定,在你意識到之前,自我懷疑的鏡片已變得如此之厚,你得用頭帶將它固定。十分不幸,但我記得,我環顧周遭的同學,想知道是否有人認為自己不夠好,然後我遇見了他,事實上就在UNH。一位學生-是的,無論出於何種神奇的原因,他不曾懷疑過自己。他魅力十足、心地善良、充滿感染力與號召力,他的名字是Jason MacConkey,他可以在賣你一輛車的同時說服你為他寫情歌,沒騙你們。我們在UNH共度的日子是我一生中最美好的時光。
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I guess it should have been a sign, but I was wearying those darned lenses of self-doubt and I and couldn’t see it. And then something happened. I noticed I wasn’t alone in this feeling of not being good enough. It started right after I made my first friend again. I need to take a second to acknowledge her. She’s here and she was the first person to step between the bullies and me. Her name is Jen and she’s been my friend for 30 years now. So with her, as the two over. Jens, we entered that horrible self-doubt festering incubator called high school. You know what I mean; it’s like all warm and full of puberty and hair…and it smells, and while you’re just trying to get used to your grown-up face and body, your GPA is pulsing in the center like the eye of Sauron. And before you know it, the lenses of self-doubt are so thick you need like a big ole’ strap to hold them up. I remember looking around at my fellow classmates and wondering if anyone thought they were good enough. And then I met him. Here a UNH, in fact, a student, who for whatever magical reason never doubted himself. He was magnetic, but kind, infectious and motivating. His name was Jason MacConkey and he could sell you a car while convincing you to write him a love song. Our time together at UNH was some of the best years of my life.
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是的,我住在Stoke大樓,真的,但我的創作熱情也能獲得滿足。這裡有Ham-Smith圖書館,還有Gay Nardone教授的舞團、KD姊妹會女孩們,以及名叫「食物與夥伴」的美妙課程,不知是否有人修過。當然,當時的情況與現在稍有不同,Kegs啤酒店是合法的,grunge音樂是潮流。沒人重視洗澡,還有許多擁有極大權力的兄弟會和姐妹會不斷與官僚主義抗爭。野貓、無盡的雪、放浪形骸,感覺就像《權力遊戲》,美妙極了,多麼美好的時光!但我要說的是,在那些日子裡,儘管我十分欣賞Jason坦然接受自我的心態與積極的精神,我並未完全準備好擺脫自我懷疑。但大三那年四月,Jason因划船意外過世,人生的重大打擊狠狠敲碎了我臉上自我懷疑的鏡片,我徹底擺脫了它們。當你在如此年輕的時候、從如此重大的打擊中醒來,心裡不再存在懷疑,只剩下悲傷。在悲傷中,你的視線變得清晰,世界逐漸染上色彩,死亡放大了生命的意義,你很快瞭解,再次將生命浪費在懷疑上毫無意義。
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Yes, I lived at Stoke Hall, but creatively I had Ham-Smith, Gay Nardone’s dance company, my KD gang, and wonderful class called foods and dudes. Of course back then things were a bit different here at UNH. Kegs were still legal on campus, grunge was the fashion, bathing was undervalued…The many houses of the greek system were at their most powerful and at war with the bureaucrats…there were wildcats, endless snow, debauchery; it was like Game of Thrones, I’m telling you. Such good times. Really. But I will say that, during those years, while I could admire Jason’s comfortable acceptance of himself, his motivating spirit, I was not quite ready to let go of doubt for myself. But in April of our junior year Jason was killed in a boating accident. And life knocked those lenses of doubt off my face so hard I went right down with them. When you wake up so young with such loss, there is no doubt, only grief. And in that grief you see clearly. The world drips with color. Death exaggerates the significance of life. And you suddenly know better than to waste a second doubting.
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我喜愛紐約,我喜愛書籍和說故事,因此畢業後我搬到紐約,找到出版社的工作,導致我開始寫書,然後寫電影劇本。在十年的過程中,我逐漸回歸正常生活,但我也在不知不覺中戴回自我懷疑的鏡片。我記得我曾經瀏覽哥倫比亞電影學院網站,心想:「我不認為我有資格申請。」我極度渴望就讀這所學校,但我擔心自己不夠好,我送出申請書的唯一原因是為了Jason。他提醒我,如果有機會過我想過的生活,我必須為了他這麼做。我成功了。過了兩年頹廢的日子,身上只有6萬多美元,我決定拍電影。有趣的是,在電影學校,你學習的第一件事就是角色性格。你學到缺乏安全感的角色-他們認為自己不夠好、個性無趣、缺乏動力和希望、沒人想看他們。唉!但唯一比缺乏安全感還糟的是完美的角色,他們死氣沉沉、枯燥乏味、沒有真實感。是的,最棒的角色,我們喜愛的、能鼓舞我們、令人永難忘懷的角色是不完美、但獨一無二的角色,唯一不夠好的角色是不複雜、不糊塗、不脆弱的角色,那些角色並不真實。
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I loved New York City and books and storytelling. And so I graduated and moved to New York, found Book publishing, which led to book writing, then to screenplay writing. And over a course of decade I settled back into life, but I also unknowingly slipped back on those lenses of doubt. I remember looking at Columbia film school website afraid to apply. Because I wanted to go so badly; but feared I wasn’t good enough. The only reason I sent in that application because of Jason. He was a reminder that if there was a chance to live the life I wanted, I owed it to him to go for it. And I got in. For two decadent years and only $60,000+, I was going to make movies. In film school, the first thing you study is character. And you learn that insecure characters, characters that don’t think much of themselves, are not very interesting, they aren’t inspirational, or hopeful and no one wants to watch them. Ouch. But the only characters worse than insecure characters are perfect characters. They are lifeless, boring, generic, they never feel authentic. The best characters, the ones we love, who inspire us, who we want to remember forever, are flawed, and one-of-a-kind. The only characters not good enough are ones who aren’t complex, or messy, or vulnerable, the ones who aren’t real.
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我在電影學院認識一位叫Phil Johnston的朋友,在我看來,他是班上最有才華的人。他是艾美獎獲獎記者,擁有最奇特的幽默感。你或許知道,他是電影《大假一場》的編劇,或許你知道他與我合寫《無敵破壞王》劇本。總之唸研究所時,他認為我優秀得足以與他共事,他一再要求與我合作,我心想:「天哪,為什麼?這是怎麼回事?似乎不太可能,我根本不夠好。」他說:「千萬別再說這些話,我要你承諾我一件事。」這個承諾改變了我的一生。他說:「你可以缺乏安全感,隨你高興,只要答應我工作時除外,只要知道你夠優秀,別退縮。」我答應了他。六個月後,我有兩部影片可供選擇,我拿到第一份電影編劇薪水。一年後我們合寫《無敵破壞王》劇本,然後-《冰雪奇緣》誕生。
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While in film school, I met a man named Phil Johnston. He was in my opinion the most talented person in the program. An Emmy-award-winning journalist, with the most gloriously twisted sense of humor. You might know him from a film he wrote called Cedar Rapids or as my co-writer on Wreck-it Ralph. Anyway, back in grad school, he thought I was good enough to work with. Again and again he thought that. Iwould always act so surprised that someone so good would want to work with me.And one day he made me promise to do something that would change my life forever. He said: “you can be as insecure as you want in your life, but just promise me you’ll leave that insecurity out of your work. Just know, you’re good enough.” And I did.
Six months later, I had two film options and I got my first paycheck as a screenwriter. One year later, Phil I were writing Wreck-it Ralph together. And then…and then came…FROZEN.
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因此當我站在你們面前,一個連地鐵都比我完美的人、連非法計程車都比我完美得多,我就是這麼不完美,也許這樣的我就夠了。如果說我學到了什麼,那就是自我懷疑是最具破壞性的力量之一。它使你故步自封,而非敞開心胸﹔它使你被動而非主動。自我懷疑令人耗費心神且殘酷,我今天的希望是,大家都有「停止自我懷疑」的共識,謝謝。思考一下:你曾經花多少時間分析自己?你的長相、你的頭髮,太細、太短、太粗、太捲。你曾經花多少時間厭惡自己?因口拙而畏縮,擔心沒人跟你約會,因為當你想說笑話時聽起來卻像解釋稅法。思考一下你所有不同於他人的瘋狂感受,停止評判這一切,你將塑造精彩生動、獨一無二的角色,造就史詩般故事的角色。現在思考一下生命中你忘了自我懷疑的時刻,當你深受鼓舞,專注於生活、創造、工作時。將注意力放在那些時刻,因為它們正試著讓你看穿自我懷疑的鏡片,試著讓你瞭解自己的潛力。
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So while I stand here before you, a person so far from perfect that there isn’t even a subway line to perfect anywhere near me. Gypsy cabs won’t even go near my neighborhood of imperfection, I’m THAT not perfect… maybe… I am enough.And if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that self-doubt is one of the most destructive forces. It makes you defensive instead of open, reactive instead of active. Self-doubt is consuming and cruel and my hope is today that we can all collectively agree to ban it.Think about it: how many hours do you spend analyzing yourself? Your looks, you’re hair, too thin, too straight, too curly; how much time do you spend being disgusted by yourself, cringing over the dumb thing you said, worrying you won’t get a date because while you’re hilarious in your head but you speak it sounds like you’re explaining tax code. Think about all the crazy ways you feel different from everyone else…and now take the judgment out of it…what you’re left with is such a holy dynamic, original character, the kind that could lead an epic story.And now think to the moments in your life when you forgot to doubt yourself. When you were so inspired that you were just living and creating, and working. Pay attention to those moments, they’re trying to Reach you through those lenses of doubt and trying to show you your potential.
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這是給家長的參考:自認「夠好」並非讓你鬆懈怠惰的藉口,並非讓20多歲的你賴在父母沙發上無所事事的藉口。不,它並非通往改變與成長大道的免費通行證。不,當你擺脫自我懷疑,你會越挫越勇,因為你不會豎起防衛,你會接受批評和傾聽。你不會因失敗而耿耿於懷,也不會忘了如何從中吸取教訓、如何藉此成長。當你相信自己,將獲得更遠大的成功。你可以將花在懷疑、質疑、擔心的時間用在工作、探索、生活,你仍然無法避免失敗,事實上人們會當你的面說:「這不夠好。」依然有人這麼批評我,但別認為這是針對你。如果你能學會不要將批評視為針對你個人,你就能聽見建設性批評,並發現它能鼓舞人心。它或許會激勵你,讓你知道你擁有遠超過自己想像的能力。
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One side note: being good enough doesn’t let you off the hook to be lazy. It’s not an excuse to spend your twenties on your parents’ couch admiring your enough-ness.It’s not like a free pass to get out of changing and growing and maturing. No, it’s just that when you are free from self-doubt, you fail better, because you don’t have your defenses up, you can accept the criticism. You don’t become so preoccupied with that failure that you forget how to learn from it, you forget how to grow. When you believe in yourself, you succeed better. Hours spent questioning, doubting, fearing, can be given over to working , exploring, living . You will still fail a lot. In fact, people to your face will say, “that is not good enough .” But just don’t make it about yourself. If you can learn to not take it personally, you will be able to listen to the constructive criticism and find it inspiring. And it might motivate you and show you that you are capable of far more than you ever imagined.
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我會說,如果《冰雪奇緣》的初稿是我們做的,如果我一直太過缺乏安全感,拒絕傾聽建議和批評,將時間浪費在試著證明自己夠好,而非著手進行電影所需的工作,《冰雪奇緣》不會存在,我今天也不會站在這裡,確實如此。重點是,當你接受自己「夠好」的想法,你將成為最投入工作的人,甚至連人際關係都會變好。注意這一點,有人甚至說導致霸凌的首要因素就是缺乏安全感。因此停止自我懷疑相當於一石二鳥,因此-你們認為如何?我們能停止自我懷疑嗎?很好。因此,你知道-好,我們不再談「自我懷疑」。你敢怎麼做?我不打算賣弄文學素養,但-傑羅姆.大衛.沙林傑的小說《抬高房梁,木匠們》中有個句子,我最喜愛的句子,那是西摩對弟弟巴迪說的話。巴迪是一位鼓舞人心的作家,他死後被問的第一個問題是:「你取出你的星星了嗎?」我喜歡這個想法。每個人都有屬於你的星星,閃閃發亮的星星,只要你足夠努力,就能取出你的星星,讓它們大放異彩。但現在我要告訴你們,你或許擁有屬於你的星星,但如果你因自我懷疑而駐足不前,如果你戴著那個令人厭惡的自我懷疑鏡片,就無法看見它們。因此脫掉那副眼鏡,看看天空多麼明亮。因此這就是我留給你們的忠告,我想請你們的父母在你忘了的時候提醒你,從現在起,請記住:你夠好了,我敢說不僅是「夠好」而已,謝謝,恭喜各位。
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I will say if we made the first draft of FROZEN, if I’d been too insecure and defensive to listen to the criticism and notes, if I wasted my time trying to prove I was good enough instead of using that time to make FROZEN what it needed to be, it would have been a far different movie and I guarantee you, I would be standing here. Thing is when you accept that who you are is enough; you become the biggest participant in making your work and even your relationships better.And get this, they say that the number one thing driving bullies is insecurity, so we ban self-doubt and we kill two birds with one stone right here.So what do you say? Can we go ahead and ban self - doubt right now?
Okay, so now that self-doubt is out of the way, think about it; what would you dare to do?I won’t go too English Lit on you, but there’s this line in Raise “ High the Roof Beam Carpenters ” by J. D. Salinger , when Seymour says to his brother, Buddy, an inspiring writer, that the first question he’ll be asked when he dies is, “Did you have your stars out?” I love that idea. That you have stars in you, bright vibrant stars that could shine if you worked hard enough to get them out.But while, you might have those stars, you won’t see them if you’re wearing the big-ole nasty lenses of doubt. Take them off and see how bright the sky is.So if I can leave you with one thing today and I’m going to ask your parents to please remind you if you ever forget, please know that from here on out, you are enough, dare I say , more than enough. Thank you and congratulations!