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為了效法Jenny,我打算省略那些繁文縟節,我也想搞個自拍,但我希望你們起立歡呼,站起來吧!(歡呼聲)(掌聲)
許多人曾以不同方式表達這個概念:當你實現夢想時,重點不在於你獲得什麼。自從去年勞工節我從古巴抵達佛羅里達海岸後,我的收獲不計其數。我曾經造訪歐巴馬總統的橢圓形辦公室,他是我相當欽佩的人;我曾經與歐普拉進行充滿感性的長時間訪談;我與美國今日最受讚譽的Knopf出版社簽了一個出書合約,他們認為我的故事能激勵人心。今天來到這所優秀的美國學校與你們共度這個特別的日子,我可以告訴各位這對我來說意義非凡。順帶一提-拜託,簡直就像上《與星共舞》一樣盛大。(笑聲)但之前那段話的結尾:當你實現夢想時,重點不在於你獲得什麼,而在於你因此成為什麼樣的人。我可以告訴各位,當我蹣跚地走上岸時,創造歷史的是我和我的團隊,而非我個人。當時我意識不清的大腦不斷迴盪著一句話:永不放棄。我腦海裡也充滿對自己的質疑與解答:我的人生哲學是什麼?令我感到自豪的是什麼?說來奇怪,我的人生哲學來自一名青少年,而非偉大的總統、偉大的哲學家。當時我也是個青少年,我永遠不會忘記她說的話,盡已所能地在生命中的每一天遵循這些話給我的啟發。
我從小就懷抱進軍奧運的夢想,於是我參加了1968年墨西哥城奧運會選拔賽,我認為我有機會替美國贏得獎牌、上台領獎。當時我的速度稍微慢了下來,接下來面臨100公尺仰泳。十年來我每天清晨4:30起床練泳,不曾間斷。每天1000個仰臥起坐,連一個都不少。比賽進行到最後100公尺仰泳,成敗在此一舉,只有三個人能前往墨西哥城參賽。感覺就像昨天發生的事。我走到游泳池旁,彷彿身處迷霧中,我無法集中精神,這些年來所有的壓力、理念、犧牲浮現腦海。我高中時甚至不曾在停車場抽大麻。我是指我做了很大犧牲。(笑聲)我父母和兄弟姊妹也做了很大犧牲,他們將我的夢想視為首要之事。
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You know, to follow Jenny [student speaker], I think I’m going to dispense with the de rigeur opening formalities, and I want a selfie too. But I want you all to be up and raucous! Get up! [Applause]
So many people have said it in different ways, when you achieve your dreams, it’s not so much what you get. And since that walk up onto the beach in Florida from Cuba last Labor Day, I’ve been getting a lot. I’ve sat in the Oval Office with President Obama, whom I admire terribly. I’ve sat down with Oprah for a long, long soulful interview. I’ve been honored with a book contract with the esteemed publisher of America Today, Knopf, who believes that I have a memoir of inspiration within me. And to stand with you today on your special day at this treasured American school, I can tell you means the world to me. And by the way, come on, I’ve been on Dancing With the Stars now, it doesn’t get any bigger than that.
But the end of that phrase goes, when you achieve your dreams, it’s not so much what you get, it’s who you become. And I can tell you that that stumbling walk up on that beach, me and my team, we made history, it wasn’t me alone. I was filled with those phrases that came out of that unconscious, dazed brain that day..never, ever give up.
And I was filled with questioning myself and fulfilling that question as to what is my life philosophy? What makes me proud of myself? And perhaps, oddly enough, my life philosophy came from a teenager..not a great president, a grand philosopher, and I was a teenager myself. I’ll never forget her words, and I’ve tried every day of my life sincerely to live by them.
So I was a kid who had Olympic dreams, and it came to be the Olympic trials for Mexico City, 1968. I believed I had a chance to bow my head and receive a medal for the United States of America, and my speed had fallen off somewhat, and now I was facing the 100 meter back stroke after 10 years of 4:30 in the morning every day, 365 days a year, 1,000 situps every day, never 999. And that last 100-meter back stroke was in front of me, and it was either going to be this one or the next one when the three go on to Mexico City.
And I was walking down that pool deck, I remember it like it was yesterday, like I was in just a fog, I had no focus at all. The pressure, the perspective of all those years, all that sacrifice. I didn’t even smoke pot in the parking lot in high school. I mean, the sacrifices were tremendous. My parents had given up so much, my brother and sister, their dreams were so small compared to mine.
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一位本身也有機會前往墨西哥城、名叫Suzanne的17歲女孩,她發現我茫然失措,來到我身旁,狠狠搖著我。她說:「怎麼回事?這是你生命中最重要的比賽!你為什麼心不在焉?」我說:「教練、父母、兄弟姊妹的犧牲…」她說:「夠了,別說了。」她說:「別忘了,你是那個人,你是那個總是告訴我們你打算追逐星星的人。你擁有夢想的願景,即使永遠無法實現,你依然努力不懈,期待實現夢想,在天際徜徉。但你堅持夢想,努力不懈,時時刻刻,月復一月、年復一年地努力。也許你終將實現夢想,或相當接近夢想的終點。」她說:「記得嗎?我們剛見到偉大的網球選手比利.簡.金創下的紀錄。」她說:「記得她前往溫布頓參賽時說了什麼嗎?她並未前去觀看抽籤結果,然後說,喔,我或許會在八強賽對上她,我聽說她的第二發球進步很多。」不。她像進行狩獵的獵豹般走上溫布頓草地球場,然後說她不知道對手是誰,她不知道主裁判是誰,她不知道當天的天氣狀況。她是第一位以「禪」的思維擊球的運動員,她打的不是球,而是球上的絨毛。當球過來時,這些年所有的練習、所有的天賦隨之釋放,她擊出史上最完美的反手拍。如果球剛好來到面前,她彷彿獵豹般站在網前,以高壓球反擊。
比利.簡.金總共拿過20座溫布頓獎盃,因此我朋友對我說:「你明白我的意思,你必須將精神集中在這一刻!」她說,「好,聽著,這不像網球上的絨毛那麼詩情畫意,但我希望你看看小指指甲上的半月形記號。」此刻這個女孩彷彿我的救贖,我和她像這樣站在池畔,我說,「是的,我看到了。」她說,「好,你不妨告訴我,在100公尺仰泳中,半月形記號這樣的距離會花你多少時間?」我說,「嗯,或許需要約千分之一秒。」她說,「不,拜託,我們做個計算,根本不需要花這麼多時間。需要花多少時間?」我說,「好吧,你說的對,假設需要花百萬分之一秒。」她說,「答對了,只需要花這麼多時間。你何不爬上池畔那些出發台,用你練出的有力肩膀和強大的心臟躍入池中,揮動手臂,發揮你最完整的潛力,觸碰池壁,別抬頭看電子記分板,別四處張望,你的目標並非選拔賽,而是未來的人生。」我向你保證,如果你能問心無愧地說「我已盡力而為」,無論結果如何都無所謂。於是我爬上出發台,現在我不再迷惘,所有理念與遠大的夢想已沉澱在靈魂某處。現在我得完成眼前百米的路程,我用有力的肩膀與強大的心臟躍入池中,當我觸及池壁時,我不知道自己是第一、第三或第八名。我閉上雙眼,握緊拳頭,問心無愧地說我已盡力而為,我不曾保留一絲餘力。我抬頭看電子記分板,我是第六名。這個孩子無法前往墨西哥城,而那個女孩的智慧盈滿我的身心。我上前與三名優勝的女孩握手,祝他們好運。我前往更衣室,心想十年來所有的努力和信念就此成為泡影,或許會讓我淚如泉湧,但我並未流淚,你知道為什麼嗎?因為重點不在於這100米,而在於整整10年的努力,每天與仰臥起坐和鬧鐘相伴的生活。我對自己說我只是個孩子,十幾歲的青少年,跟你們差不多大,人生道路將繼續前進,無論我表現得多麼糟,像這樣。生命就是如此。
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And a girl, a 17-year-old name Suzanne, with her own chances for Mexico City, she saw that I was in a fog.
And she came over and she shook me, and she said, “What is going on? This is the most important race of your life! Why aren’t you in a laser focus?” And I said, “The coach and the parents and the sacrifice and my brother and sister…”
She said, “Stop it, stop it!” She said, “You know you’re the one. You’re the one who’s always telling us that you reach for the stars, and you have a vision of that dream. And even if you never make it, you’re working so hard to get there you’re up playing around in the heavens. But you have that dream and then you get to work..you work hour by hour, and month by month, and year by year, and then maybe you get there, or you get pretty darn close.”
And she said, “Remember, we just saw the documentary on Billie Jean King, the great tennis player.” She said, “Remember how she says when she goes to Wimbledon, she doesn’t go over and look at the draw and see, oh yeah, I might play her in the quarter finals, and I heard her second serve has improved a lot. No, she goes on to the Wimbledon grass, she says, like a cheetah on the hunt. She has no idea who her opponent is, she doesn’t know who the chair umpire is, she doesn’t know what the impending weather is. She is playing as the first Zen athlete..not the ball..she is playing the fuzz on the ball. And as the ball comes over, all those years of practice, all that genetic talent comes oozing out, and she hits the most perfect backhand that’s ever been hit. If the ball happens to come out, cheetah, she’s at the net, she’s hitting the overheard, and Billie Jean holds the Wimbledon trophy above her head 20 times.”
So my friend’s saying to me, “You know what I’m talking about. You’ve got to be in this moment!” And she says, “Okay, look, it’s not as poetic as the fuzz on the tennis ball, but I want you to take a look at this little half moon sliver of your pinkie fingernail.” I needed this girl at this moment. And she and I are standing on the pool deck like this. I said, “Yeah, I see it.” She said, “All right, why don’t you tell me how long it’s going to take you in the 100-meter backstroke to swim that little half moon.”
And I said, “Well, that’s probably going to take about a thousandth of a second.” She said, “No it isn’t, come on, let’s do the math. It’s going to take a lot less than that. What’s it going to take?” And I said, “Okay, okay, you’re right, let’s say it’s going to take a thousandth of a thousandth of a second.” She said, “That’s it, that’s what it’s going to take. Why don’t you get up there on those blocks and blast off with the powerful shoulders that you built, and the unique heart of yours, and dig in and swim the most perfect potential race you’ve got, touch the wall, don’t look up at the electronic scoreboard, don’t look around the pool. You’re either moving on to the trials or you’re not.” You’re moving on to the rest of your life, and I guarantee you, if you can say it and mean it, “I couldn’t have done it a fingernail faster,” it’ll all be all right no matter what you do.
And I get up there, now I’ve got the laser focus. The perspective, the big dream is somewhere down in the soul. Now I’ve got 100 meters of perfection in front of me, and I blast off with those shoulders, and with that heart, and when I touch that wall, I have no idea if I was first or third or eighth, and I closed my eyes and I closed my fists, I said it and I meant it, I couldn’t have done it a fingernail faster! I didn’t leave a fingernail in that pool. And I looked up at the electronic scoreboard and I was sixth. And this kid didn’t go to Mexico City, and that girl’s wisdom swam through my body. I went and shook the hands of the three girls who were moving on, wished them luck. I went in the locker room, I thought maybe a flood of tears would come after all the effort, all the belief, 10 years. But the tears never came. And you know why? It’s because it wasn’t just that 100 meters, it was the whole 10 years.It was every day of the situps, it was every day without the alarm clock. And I said to myself, I’m just a kid, I’m a teenager, I was almost your age, and I’m going to go on and live all the rest of my life no matter what I do like that. And so life happened.
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大學生活,坦白說,我唯一值得與你們分享的大學生活經驗是我從四層樓高的宿舍窗口跳傘。你知道,不曾經過詳細空氣動力學研究。稍微說明一下,你得到比四樓高得多的地方才有足夠時間讓傘張開。(笑聲)但那裡有研究所,然後我參加馬拉松長泳。你知道,當時我已60歲,你或許不相信,但眨眼間你就會來到我的年齡。你知道,如總統剛用過的這句話,我確實帶著真實存在的焦慮凝視虛擬鏡中的自己。我這一生做了什麼?我是誰?我是否一事無成、虛度生命、四十年來沒有任何進步?對我來說,瑪麗.奧利弗的詩句囊括了這所有的疑問。她說:「所以…」我邁入60歲那個夏天曾經這麼自問:「你打算用狂野而寶貴的一生做什麼?」在真正嘗試之前,挑戰古巴水域早已成為我的夢想。35年前,42小時的嘗試,水域中遍布水母、鯊魚、灣流,它相當於海洋版的埃佛勒斯峰。這是一段史詩級的旅程,無數男女游泳健將自1950年開始嘗試,至今無人成功。60歲的我能做到嗎?我擁有足夠的意志力和體力嗎?
我開始召集人馬,我再次開始生活在堅定的承諾中。我情緒高昂、充滿熱情、展現最好的自我、鼓舞身邊所有人、鼓舞我的團隊,然後全世界開始介入。我失敗了。我再次失敗。經過四次失敗,坦白說,每次失敗都是生與死的拉鋸戰。我的團隊開始對我說,「你知道,每年這個時候關島簡直美不勝收。你去過馬爾地夫嗎?美極了。」你知道,就是一長串的群島,但我的夢想一直是古巴。對我來說,古巴的意義一向跟運動能力和耐力紀錄無關,而是關乎生命及我對自己是否走上正確人生道路的質疑。它具有象徵意義。我可以告訴各位,2013年勞工節,當我看見聚集在海岸的人群,我與團隊44名成員相擁而泣。他們付出太多努力,他們也值得擁有這場勝利。我走上海岸,自問是否盡力而為。我真誠地回答:我回來了,我活著回來了,所以我已盡力而為。我並非宗教人士,但我在人世間的最後一天、閉上雙眼時,我也會握緊拳頭說:「知道嗎?我無法完成每件事,無法每件事都獲得成功,我希望我能幫助更多人,拜訪更多地方,但時間確實過得太快,至少我所做的一切都盡力而為。」
而你們,米德爾伯里學院2014年畢業生,我把這個問題留給你們。Jenny說得很棒,我們知道自己想做什麼嗎?或許不知道,但我想問各位:「你打算用狂野而寶貴的一生做什麼?」你們知道,最終你們將完成很多事、達成很多成就、做出許多貢獻。在你生命中的最後一天,這是多麼遠大的目標,說自己所做的一切已盡力而為,包括大學的經歷及未來人生的旅程。很榮幸與你們共聚一堂,恭喜各位。好好慶祝並繼續前進,詢問自己這個問題,因為這是你們的生命,狂野而寶貴的生命。非常感謝你們的邀請。(歡呼聲)(掌聲)
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College, and frankly, the only thing I can share with you about my college experience that would be informative was that I parachuted out of the four-story window of my dorm, you know, without a lot of erudite research on the aerodynamics of that. And just to tell you, you need to go a lot higher than the fourth floor for the chute to open. But there was graduate school, and then I was introduced to marathon swimming, and you know, I got to be 60. You’re not going to believe me, but you’re going to blink and you’re going to be my age. And, you know, as the president was just using that phrase, I really was, I was kind of staring myself in the virtual mirror with true existential anxiety. What had I done with my life? Who am I? Am I living this way, have I been all these years, these 40 years, not a fingernail better? And to me, the rhetorical question that asks it all is the Mary Oliver poem. And she says..“So”..and I was saying this to myself that summer of turning 60..“what is it you’re doing with this one wild and precious life of yours?”
Cuba had entered my imagination years before I tried it. 35 years before, 42 hours, jellyfish, sharks, Gulf Stream eddies..it’s the Mt. Everest of the oceans. It’s epic. People have been trying since 1950..strong men and women..and no one’s ever done it.
And at 60, did I have it? Did I have the will, the shoulders? I started to put it together. I started living with that unwavering commitment again. I was high. I was high on the passion and bringing my best self and everybody around me, the team. Then it turned out the world started getting involved, and I failed, and I failed again, and I failed again. And after the fourth time, each time, literally, life and death in the balance, my team started to say to me, “You know, Guam is awfully nice this time of year. Have you seen the Maldives? Just beautiful.” You know, island to island over there.
But it was always Cuba, and Cuba was never about athleticism and endurance records for me. Cuba was about life, and questioning myself if I’m living the right life. It was that metaphor. And I can tell you today that Labor Day 2013, to see that crowd on that beach, I cried with my 44 teammates who had given so much, and they deserved this victory too. And I walked up on that beach, I asked myself the fingernail question, and I answered it sincerely, I’m back. I’m back to living every day, so I can’t live it a fingernail better. And I’m not a religious person, but the day that’s my last day to close my eyes on this Earth, I’m going to close my fist too and I’m going to say, “You know what? I couldn’t do it all, I didn’t succeed at it all, I wish I could have helped more people, gone more places, but it does go by awfully quickly, and at least everything I did, I did it so that I couldn’t do it a fingernail better.”